The WWE’s Farcically Obvious Prediction Cycle

Courtesy of Google images

Courtesy of Google images

This is by no means meant to deface the heart of the sports entertainment industry, I myself am a big fan of the WWE. What it is meant to do, is to provide a fan based, insider’s view of the often comical prediction cycle that runs rampant among WWE storylines.

For example, this past week on Smackdown, CM Punk faced Edge for the second week in a row, in a non-title match up that would see Punk cash in his money in the bank contract for the championship if he were able to put his signature move, the “go to sleep,” on Edge successfully. The problem with this scenario however, is that Edge got counted out, disqualifying himself and making it impossible for Punk to obtain the championship.

As if that weren’t enough, Umaga appeared from behind Punk, slamming him viciously onto the mat. Then Umaga finished Punk off with his signature move, the “Samoan spike.” It was about this time that J.R. uttered the words, “coming out of nowhere,” and Todd Grisham followed with, “Punk never saw Umaga coming!”

Really? Just one week prior, the same exact thing happened. Umaga, for no apparent reason, “appeared out of nowhere” at the end of Edge and Punk’s non-title match and barbarously slammed Punk onto the canvas, eliminating the possibility of him cashing in for the championship. How could anyone believe that we wouldn’t see the same results this past week? Kudos to both the performers and the commentators for their ability to act surprised.

How about the “I challenge any superstar in the locker room” routine? That never gets old. Anytime an up and coming superstar (generally a heel) or a “B-list” superstar “call out” an opponent to challenge, it’s always the most dominant superstar who answers. (When I say dominant, I mean physically monstrous in size and height.) 

This past week’s Smackdown also showcased new superstar Dolph Ziggler, as he aimed to make his mark among the WWE elite. Ziggler got The Great Kahli knocking down his door. Kahli answers a lot of these calls, he happily responded to “The” Brian Kendrick’s “call out” not so long ago also. In the weeks leading up to Wrestlemania 25, Jamie Noble thought it would be wise to call out a few superstars. One of his opponents wound up being “The Big Red Machine,” Kane. Not surprisingly, he lasted only a few seconds in the ring with each of his adversaries.

There can only be two logical explanations for the challenge routine. One is to give a boost to a potentially successful superstar’s career, and the other is saved for cutting promo’s for a PPV to come, usually Wrestlemania. This was the case with the Jamie Noble storyline-but, logic doesn’t really belong in this equation now does it? It wouldn’t be called sports entertainment if it did.

Funny thing is, I probably wouldn’t change a thing-well, not many things.